|| Bert Carmody can't catch a break. As a hieroglyphs translator he's actually quite good. However, being pudgy, balding and awkward, he's always in the shadow of his young, charismatic coworkers. Disillusioned and bitter, Bert spends his free time scouring the markets of Cairo hoping to find an unrecognized genuine artifact for the pittance a scholar can afford. His latest discovery is another piece of rubbish, just another animal mummy, one of literally millions of votive offerings from the ancients to one god or another, or is it?