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The gift of failure : how the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed  Cover Image Book Book

The gift of failure : how the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed

Lahey, Jessica (author.).

Summary: This manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life's inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults. Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children's friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children's well-being, they aren't giving them the chance to experience failure -- or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child's confidence and undermine their education. Teachers don't just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight -- important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Lahey lays out a blueprint with advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children's failures.

Record details

  • ISBN: 9780062299239
  • ISBN: 0062299239
  • Physical Description: print
    xxvii, 272 pages ; 24 cm
  • Edition: First edition.
  • Publisher: New York, NY : Harper, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, [2015]

Content descriptions

Bibliography, etc. Note: Includes bibliographical references (pages 249-259) and index.
Formatted Contents Note: Introduction: How I learned to let go -- How failure became a dirty word: A brief history of American parenting -- Why parenting for dependence doesn't work: The power of intrinsic motivation -- Less really is more: Parenting for autonomy and competence -- Encouragement from the sidelines: The real connection between praise and self-esteem -- Household duties: Laundry as an opportunity for competence -- Friends: Accomplices to failure and the formation of identity -- Sports: Losing as an essential childhood experience -- Middle school: Prime time for failure -- High school and beyond: Toward real independence -- Parent-teacher partnerships: How our fear of failure undermines education -- Homework: How to help without taking over -- Grades: The real value of a low score -- Conclusion: What I've learned from letting go.
Subject: Self-reliance in children
Resilience (Personality trait) in children
Failure (Psychology)
Child rearing United States
Parenting United States
Parental overprotection
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / General
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Child Development
Child rearing
Failure (Psychology)
Parental overprotection
Resilience (Personality trait) in children
Self-reliance in children
United States

Available copies

  • 16 of 17 copies available at Evergreen Indiana.


  • 0 current holds with 17 total copies.
Show All Copies
Location Call Number / Copy Notes Barcode Shelving Location Status Due Date
Bloomfield Eastern Greene Co PL - Bloomfield Main 649.7 LAH (Text) 36803000985064 NONFIC Available -
Danville-Center Twp PL - Danville 649.7 Lah (Text) 32604000204110 AD Non-Fiction Available -
Eckhart PL - Main 649.7 LAH (Text) 840191002626540 Adult Nonfiction - Upper Level Available -
Fayette Co PL - Connersville 649.7 LAH (Text) 39230031671355 Adult Books Available -
Fulton Co PL - Rochester Main Library 649.7 LAH (Text) 33187003978331 Nonfiction Available -
Greensburg-Decatur Co PL - Greensburg 649.7 LAHEY (Text) 32826012071049 Adult Non-Fiction Available -
Hussey-Mayfield Mem. PL - Zionsville 649.7 LAHEY (Text)
In Honor of: In honor of Donna Collins for dedicated service to the Hussey-Mayfield Memorial Public Library as a volunteer in 2015
33946003077141 Adult Nonfiction Available -
Lebanon PL - Lebanon Y 649.7 LAH PS (Text) 34330513014937 Juvenile - Parent Shelf Available -
Morgan Co PL - Martinsville Main Library 649.7 LAH (Text) 78551000522115 Non-Fiction Available -
New Castle-Henry County PL - New Castle 649.7 LAHE (Text) 39231033114642 Adult Non-fiction Collection Available -

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