The pony problem -- Christmas in July -- The Ursula cookie -- Bring-your-machete-to-work day -- The good people of this dimension -- Bastard out of Westchester -- The beauty of strangers -- Fuck you, Columbus -- One-night bounce -- Sign language for infidels -- You on a stick -- The height of luxury -- Smell this -- Lay like broccoli -- Fever faker.
Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions-or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character that's aiming for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.